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~*~LINZI~*~ ~*~Present~*~
The rain fell onto
the London streets like large tear drops filling up muddy puddles a kid walked past dressed a bright yellow raincoat with
matching wellingtoon boots and a hat they jumped in the every puddle that was near them while i just shivered with coldness
a blanket had been wrapped round me as i was looking out the window i was still in shock from what happened a few hours ago
why did it have to happen to me i always felt perfectly safe in London i had my boyfriend with me Lee he was great, Funny,caring,kind
and a very good lover but that didn't matter right now. I felt scared didn't know where to turn where to look i felt ashamed
when i looked at Lee andwhen i saw my reflection i felt even more ashamed of myself i felt dirty and un-clean even if i washed
fifty times already today nothing would take this dirt away not until he was caught the dirty image played over and over again
in my mind...I gone out in this pouring rain to get some milk as we had run out i kissed Lee goodbye and went down the road
just a normal thing for me to do walk down to our local kiosk but what was hiding down the alley i had to past changed that
forever
"hey cutie" came a husky cold voice i ignored it and carried on walking faster someone caught my arm and dragged
me into the alleyway they slamed me against the wall and started to kiss my neck i pushed them away i saw his face it was
full of evilness his dark eyes burned into my memory like fire burning through paper he held the back of my neck hard
"don't
resist it sweetie" he said his voice was full of such coldness he shoved his tongue down my throat as his hand went to the
zip on my trousers he pushed me down to the floor and with all his force entered me it was painful and i cried all the way
through it
"thanks for that you slapper" he said as he got up and ran off i lay there shivering and crying i couldn't
move i was to stunned...
~*~LEE'S~FLASHBACK~*~
I looked up at the clock worried Linzi should of been back by now
it only took 20 minutes to go to the local kiosk and back now she had been gone double that time i got up and grabbed my coat
i decided to go down to the kiosk and see if she was there i banged the front door shut and walked down the road as i passed
the alleyway i saw a women led on the ground crying hystrically i walked up to her
"are you ok?" i asked she moved her
hands away from her face
"Linzi" i said stunned as i went down to her level
"what happened babe" i asked pulling her
into a hug
"a man grabbed me as i walked by then he...he... raped me" she said through tears
"what?" i said in disbelieve
how could somebody be so cruel as to hurt my baby girl
"come on lets get you home" i said standing up pulling her with
me she held her trousers that were now ripped up and hobbled along with me till we got back to our house we were silent all
the way back and it didn't seem right nomally we'd be chatting away like nobodies buisseness but i suppose this was a different
matter a very different matter. I opened the front door and shut it again behind me with my foot Linzi let go of me and walked
in the direction of the bathroom she turned the shower on then looked back at me normally she would ask if i wanted to join
her but she just shut the door and said she'd be out in half an hour. I sat in the living room in silence i looked from photo
to photo of her and myself she was always smiling i remember when she told me "never frown you never know who could be falling
in love with your smile" when i was felling a bit down she could always turn my frown upside down and now she was the one
with the broken smile i looked to the most recent photo that hung above the mantle piece as i looked at her sweet lustful
smile i was still trying to figure out how somebody would want to hurt her, she's too beautiful to see her in pain. The bathroom
door clicked Linzi came out into the living room she wore her soft lilac bathrope
"i'm so sorry Lee" she said sitting
down next to me
"hey, hey baby you've got nothing to be sorry for" i said pulling her closer she cried in my arms
"but
Lee i have i feel ashamed of myself i feel really dirty" she said her eyes all sad.
~*~Present~*~
She got up and
walked away from me she sat down in the window seat and look out at the rain i slowly got up and went into the kitchen i switched
the kettle on and got two mugs down from the cupboard and put some instant hot chocolate is was Linzi favourite hot drink
and hopefully it would calm her down make her realise that she shouldn't be ashamed of herself or be sorry to me she didn't
do anything wrong the only person who did was the man that raped her and took away her confidence i poured the hot water into
the mugs and went back into the living room i set my down on the table then went over to Linzi
"here take this babe" i
said she turned round and took the cup from my hand
"thanks" she smiled weakly i put my arms around her and kissed her
forehead.
~*~Few Weeks Later~*~
~*~LINZI~*~
It had now been a few weeks since the incident and i was finally
ready to let Lee make love to me it had taken all my strength to forget about what happened i didn't report it to the police
because i wanted to forget what happened but as Lee made love to me that night i saw the face that haunted me and i started
to cry
"i'm sorry i can't get his horrible face out of my mind its burned into my brain" i said as i oushed Lee away
"its
ok babe" he said and just hugged me
"i'll be back in a minute" i said getting up and going into the bathroom i turned
back went up to Lee and gave him a long passionate kiss it would be his last well from me anyway i thought as i wonder back
into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinate i took out the paracetimol and opened it i took the glass on the side and
filled it with water as i gulped it back i popped pill after pill into my mouth the pot was now empty as i went back into
my room i started to feel the effect of them but didn't want to alarm Lee i climed into the bed and snuggled up to him where
i fell asleep instantly.
~*~LEE~*~
I woke up the next morning Linzi was still in my arms but she had gotten really
heavy i looked at her face and noticed her lips were blue and her face was snow white i checked her pulse but i couldn't feel
it
"Linzi,Linzi" i said rocking her frantically i got no response i reached for the phone on the bedside table and dialled
999
"please help me, my girlfriend won't wake up" i said upset
"sir can you please tell your address and an ambulance
will be right round" i said my address and waited for the ambulance to show up i went into the bathroom and when i got there
i saw a pot on the floor i picked it up it was supposed to be a pot of paracetimol but it was empty i ran back into the bedroom
and screamed
"LINZI PLEASE TELL YOU DIDN'T" i said tears falling faster and faster why did she do this did it really get
to her that much that she had to end her life why? was the constant question going round and round in my mind the door rang
and i ran down the stairs to answer it
"she's up there" i said pointing to the stairs the paramedics ran up the stairs
and in the direction of our bedroom
"but i think its to late" i whisperd to myself as i climbed the stairs
"i think
she took an overdose" i said as i entered the room
"yes she has and she had been dead for about 7 hours" the paramedics
replied one of them got a mobile-type out of his pocket and i heard him say
"can i have an undertaker sent to .......
as soon as possible please"
"he'll be here in 20 minutes" the paramedic said to the other then they both looked at me
as i burst into tears and sat down against the doorframe
"this is a nightmare isn't it?" i asked looking at them
"sorry"
one of them said as the other shook there head.
Hours Later
Linzi had been taken to the morgue Duncan,Simon and
Antony had come round to comfort me
"she didn't seem the type to do such a thing" Duncan said looking at an invisable
spot on the carpet
"i know" i replied and stared at her picture a fresh set of tears came down my face as i saw her smile
it reminded me of the fact i'd never see that beautiful smile again until god takes me under his wing in the gates of heaven.
It had been a year since then and i slowly but sorrifully got on with my life Blue the bad that i was in with
Duncan,Simon and Antony had to record there first album which would go by the name of our first successful single All Rise
Linzi loved that song some much when she was alive and our carear first started up we'd just realeased another single 'If
You Come Back' which had been written for us i really didn't want to realease it as it made me think of Linzi i knew she would
like that song.
"You alright Lee" Simon said coming out of the studio door
"yeah fine just going to record a song
for our album" i said and let a song sheet fall in front of him he looked at it and smiled sympatheticly as he knew the meaning
of it i walked into the studio and the music started then i started to sing...
The warmth in your smile is the
warmth that I desire,
'Cos it's cold and lonely in this place, oh yeah.
And I need to get close to the flames in a
fire,
And lose myself in yesterday, oh yeah.
It's gonna be a long long long time,
till I can be with you
again, and see your smile.
It's gonna be a long long long time,
till I hold you in my arms all through the night,
it's gonna be a long long time.
Looking outside and I feel so un-inspired
And It rain's all through this lonely
night oh yeah.
I'm losing my mind and my soul is feeling tired,
'Cos girl you are my guiding light oh yeah.
It's
gonna be a long long long time
till I can be with you again, and see your smile.
It's gonna be a long long long time
till I hold you in my arms all through the night
it's gonna be a long long time.
Girl I been missing you I
never thought I'd feel this way.
All the feelings I have inside grow stronger everyday.
Girl I want you to know that
I will never let you go.
You're the only one I really want
And there's one thing you've gotta know
It's gonna
be a long long long time
till I can be with you again, and see your smile.
It's gonna be a long long long time
till
I hold you in my arms all through the night
it's gonna be a long long time.
It's gonna be a long long long time
till I can be with you again, and see your smile.
It's gonna be a long long long time
till I hold you in my arms
all through the night
it's gonna be a long long time.
Listen girl I need you
Are you there?
There's nothing
I can do about it
And I wanna hold you
And show you how much you mean to me
Oh yeah That's right
Don't you
know I want you in my life, my life, my life
I finished singing the last line as a tear dropped from my eye i
walked out of the studio Simon looked at me and smiled lightly
"song for Linzi" i said
"i know i'm sure where ever
she is she heard it" i nodded
5 years on
~*~SIMON~*~
Today was the sadest day of mine,Duncan's and Antony's
life it was the day of Lee's funeral he had died a week ago because he was involved in a horrific car accident but i can't
shake this feeling that it was done on purpose maybe he wanted to die he never forgot about Linzi she was one of them girls
who'd no matter what would always leave footprints in you heart we got into the church seeing Lee's coffin led on two gold
plated metle stands brought tears to our eyes after the vicar had said what he had to say and myself along with Duncan and
Antony had said what we had to a familiar song started playing as it ended i thought i saw Lee at the alter along with Linzi
but she wasn't in the clothes she died in neither was Lee they were in smart clothes Linzi in a wedding dress and Lee in a
tailored suit they looked over in our direction and smiled before kissing each other just as the song ended...
It's
gonna be a long long long time
till I can be with you again, and see your smile.
It's gonna be a long long long time
till I hold you in my arms all through the night
it's gonna be a long long time.
I looked at Duncan and Antony
and i knew they had seen it to it confirmed what i had thought earlier the accident had been on purpose but it was fate even
if Linzi had to wait for Lee a 'Long Time'
The End
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